…But I cannot give up. I became Undead to pursue this! But when I peer at the Sun up above, it occurs to me…What if I am seen as a laughing stock, as a blind fool without reason?

Solaire of Astora – Dark Souls

The following is a bit of poetry from my heart… influenced by my emotions and one of my favorite pieces of creative art, The Dark Souls Trilogy..

Traverse with me, there is always a place for someone here. I ripped apart the once occupied space within my own heart, dreaming of something more, something truly mine. I still search, through pain, through rejection, through loneliness and despair. I am but a vehicle for my lonely truths. So, if you would like to traverse with me, come along, there is always a place for someone here. I am hollow, I once had fire but gave up the flame in order to find my own path, my own destiny. The universe gave me an out, gave me a way to no longer suffer the ills of a lonely mind, however, it was not real, it was forced, it did not come from me. The universe is my ally and it gave me relief when I felt the pain, it gave me relief for five years, but I finally woke from it, I woke from the state of sleep I was in, the healing sleep that the universe provided for me with a flame I did not light, a flame that was not actually mine. So here I am, a vehicle of loneliness trying hard to light my way, trying hard to reconcile each hard-painful truth that bombards me. I wear around this heavy armor, but there are weak spots in my armor, I am battered and torn asunder.

I found a flame I would light, but alas this flame is not mine to light, so I look on, hollow, without fire, without flame, I am the Ashen One. I resurrected myself to light my own fire, I traverse and look on at the one I would light, as it glows bright, and wondrous, belonging to another, comforting another, being the brilliant warm and comforting relief for another, “…if only I could be so grossly incandescent”. All the while I traverse, alone, hollow and unwanted. I don’t know how much longer I can wander like this, but either way, traverse with me, if you would, I need all the companionship I can get. Let this night not be lonely, and let the Universe, my ally, come to me and help me light a flame that is truly mine. I am hollow, I am the Ashen One.

Written by: Marcos Lopez 2/8/2020