“Stop wandering about! You aren’t likely to read your own notebooks, or ancient histories, or the anthologies you’ve collected to enjoy in your old age. Get busy with life’s purpose, toss aside empty hopes, get active in your own rescue-if you care for yourself at all-and do it while you can.”

–Marcus Aurelius

I have used this once before, in my posts, the quote “Get active in your own rescue”, and it is as relevant today as it was then, this rescue never ceases, it is a constant operation. I spend most of my day and night fighting these demons in my head, these wicked snares that have been laid out by the inner most depression that rests heavy and unwavering in my mind.

This relentless nagging oppressor that would have me reduced to a silly caricature of a real person , someone hiding from the pain by being goofy or silly or lacking the courage to confront themselves, meanwhile behind the veil being a sniveling and beaten person. However, I refuse to be that, so I fight and confront myself everyday!

I fight this monster, everyday, and everyday, I win! On some days however it is more like a Pyrrhic victory than an actual conquering of my own darkness. Some days when I lay my head to rest, I feel a lot more bad than I do good, but feeling bad doesn’t mean you lost , it just means you were in a fight, a battle , and no real fight comes without a price.

So I sit here , having won, yet again. I refuse to lose, I will not concede an inch to the demon that lurks in my subconscious, that preys on me when I am at my most vulnerable. I cannot lose, I know who I am, I understand my worth as a man, I understand that it is not gain but virtue that is the true victory. Marcus Aurelius once said you must be active in your own rescue, I am always active, always working and battling within my own mind to continue to shield myself from the relentless crashing of the waves of depression.

I may feel defeated at times but I am not, not truly, for I am Aurelius , I am Seneca, I am Sun Tzu , I shall appear weak when strong and strong when weak as to lay my own snare on this depressive force that mocks my every step.

So…my message is this! Be active in your own rescue, root out this nagging seed of hate planted in your mind, this depression, this beast with no cage and CAGE IT! Depression is a fire breathing dragon looking to incinerate you , but when utilized properly your mind is your lance, a lance that when wielded correctly can strike true and fell the dragon that mocks your very being. You are Aurelius, the Emperor of your own mind, you are the one with the answers to your own problems….Be active!

Written by: Marcos Lopez 2/14/2020