“You cannot fight the shadow.”

–The Necromancer, Sauron, in, The Hobbit—–

These are the ramblings of a curious mind, I am not a doctor, nor a scientist, nor am I a professor lol

Thoughts… they are like ethereal beings, that invade your consciousness. A thought can suspend your attention like a laser pointer does to a curious cat. A thought can sadden you, encourage you, destroy you little by little or sometimes all at once, a thought can carry a weak man, and lay low a strong one. Thoughts are plagues, or are they blessings? or both?

What is a thought then?

A thought… it creeps on you like a shadow, taking you from your radiant conscious state to a dimmed almost dissociated state called “thinking”. In the thinking state you are less active, more set inside your own mind, this is why when someone is talking loudly while we are in a deep pensive mode, we often do something to cease their noise, whether it is asking them to politely lower their voice , or by moving away from them all together, regardless, the point stands. While thinking we are disengaged from the present, and while in this state we can be in the happiest spot on earth but feel like we are in the pits of despair or again…vice versa. The thoughts in our minds are controlled by our brain supposedly but where do these thoughts come from? Before they creep in and cloud your conscious state with their presence, where are they? How do they get to us?

We have often pondered, as a species, if there is a way to stop bad thoughts all together, or a way to regulate thoughts in a way that despair and suffering are eased or even erased. The various methods we have come up with are religion, ceremonial magic , rites, and rituals, philosophy, science, medicine, laws, psychology etc. We do all of this to help regulate perception, because perception is king and your subconscious mind is the keeper of your generated habitual perception. All that makes you, “you”, is stored in your subconscious, your behavior patterns consisting of habits, likes, dislikes, fears and the thoughts that trigger or determine all of those things lay deep in a dark place of immeasurable potential. The conscious self is an island, and the subconscious the ocean, this is a description that comes from Dr. Carl Jung himself. This subconscious ocean, what is it? where is it? Is this where thoughts come from? and if so, how are thoughts made? There are myriad ideas surrounding the processes used to try to answer these fundamental questions, but few provide a definitive answer. All we know is, thoughts are like shadows, they are always there, and they can’t be stopped. Lord Sauron while he was in the form of the “Necromancer” said it best…”Dunni Kan Markhan…”, or “You cannot fight the shadows…”.

But… Do thoughts HAVE to be shadow? what of good thoughts?

Sure there are good thoughts, but humans have a propensity to value negative thoughts over positive, I think it has to do with a natural survival instinct that we developed in order to learn from mistakes as to not repeat them and fall into harm. Subsequently those pre-historic ancestors of ours who learned from mistakes more often survived more often, maybe lived longer and had more opportunity to procreate, thusly leading to a species of creatures predisposed to think oft of negativity and in consequence , overshadow positive feelings generated by positive thoughts. So how can we make it so that positive thoughts are the thoughts we are more inclined to conjure up automatically from our minds…well that goes back to those various methods we have come up with to regulate thoughts in a way that despair and suffering are eased or erased , and some of the most prevalent of those methods are, religion, ceremonial magic , rites, and rituals, philosophy, science, medicine etc. I would add another and probably the most important aspect of positive human mental wellness and that is the forming of systems of family and friendship. Forming these systems allows us to feel love, acceptance and a sense of being among fellow humans, this is very important to all humans. This does not mean fame or status by the way, I mean the simple love and togetherness humans need in order to feel mentally healthy, the love that systems of community, bonds, friendships and family, etc. all can provide. Friends and family help us be who we are, they help us develop into a person. As we all know however, if the familial or social system of a person is flawed greatly or is the cause of some trauma or mental damage to a person, a person can carry it with them for the rest of their lives, resulting in various abnormalities in personality, addictions, depression, anxiety, PTSD etc.

As we traverse from thinking about these thoughts to how they make us human, I ponder that fundamental question often…

What does it mean to be human?

I feel we humans often grow disconnected because we yearn for purpose, and our modern lives provide an artificial façade built to “assign” purpose in the form of an occupation, or title given by a certain controlling group who employ a system of strict, regulated, gross, unfair and abhorrent manipulative practices. Our system is taken advantage of by those who control the perception of human minds. Those who control the perception of human minds are the types of people that the aforementioned Sauron would recruit if he planned another bout of world domination. These people are often manipulative and steadfastly hold a firm grip on the systems that dictate your ability to earn the money to buy the resources you need to survive and not at all less important the means you have to entertain yourself and generate positive perception for your life. Positive occurrences like, relaxing moments with family in a safe environment, travel, freedom of choice outside of work etc. These systems will have you believe that you are a nobody unless you have a lot of expendable income, you look attractive to the majority of people in the mainstream opinion, you have various relationships romantic or otherwise with a multitude of people etc. All these social indicators are driven by consumerist ideology. This ideology is not “evil”, do not get me wrong, these ideas of markets and the preservation capitalist ideals are part of the very system that allows me to sit here and type freely as a man with his own thoughts. However, it is a double edged sword in the sense that while this capitalists’ system does provide a more fair open forum for human purpose finding , more so than that of communism or any other rigid utilitarian style of dictatorship or supreme governance, it does often lead a population of people to forget what the meaning to being a person is.

The thought, “What is my purpose?” is profound and fundamental on a level that it may be one of the base questions that we initially asked ourselves the moment our pre-historic progenitors first became conscious. If not it is definitely a thought that permeates through the ethos of modern Mans history.

With all of these strange elements within our system like social media technology, rapid information reception/disbursement, and the myriad devices we have to hold our attention, we can often lose ourselves in the dopamine high of technology and modern conveniences. While within this high we might lose track of our purpose, and despite having all we desire at our whim, we still feel empty, we still feel unaccomplished, we feel lost. Why is this?

Well I personally think that it’s because our perception has been hijacked by , “a million”, different “Shadows”, or thoughts placed in our heads by outside sources , like advertisements, logos, symbols, consumable media like, books, music, films, shows, news programs etc. These devices built to entertain or occupy our time, also have the ability to skew our perception. So after consuming so much of it , especially if we are exposed to it as children, our perceptions are swayed by a various mix of different herd mentalities and strange need to be “somebody” to all the other nobody’s of the world. We forgot that our purpose in life isn’t money, or material, or even to start a family, no we are not our devices , we are humans, the devices are what WE created, the system does not dictate the individuals reality but it damn sure will try. A populace entranced in the voodoo tricks created to control man-made culture and society, and the people there within, will have you think your purpose is to fulfill the status quo, or to be a high value individual in the face of the world at large or at least in your own microcosmic existence and all the people and structures of society there within. This drive to better ourselves within the system is not bad, its good, but must be regulated and understood. I personally am doing all I can to better myself within the systems structure, but I do so with the perception that, no matter what, as long as I am being true to myself, honest, and I do my best at this thing we call life, I am just fine, my purpose is not to score social points, its to live life as best as I can, and if I score social points doing that, so be it.

So in my opinion the thoughts in our minds that have been implanted in us by outside sources, including the media, the internet, these sneaky devices utilized by other people, sway us to believe that our purpose is gravely attached to the system, but it is not. Modern humans just don’t understand that simply living and being a positive human is our purpose. We can participate and do our best to succeed in the system but if we fail in the system at times we need not worry, its just a game, and we just need to learn and adapt as a human always does. Our main purpose in my opinion is that we create and we put things in order, that is our function in the universe, we just do not recognize that we are already fulfilling our true purpose and life does not come with a “special” purpose. We are just meant to create and put things in order, we use science to create, we use art to create, we use systems to create, we use our biological bodies to create humans, waste and even carbon dioxide for the trees, this is all our purpose. Any perceived success or “boost” to status via money, looks, possessions, popularity , fame etc. is all imaginary and only exists in the system, outside of that system we are all living breathing human beings doing what humans do, and that’s, live and create. You do not need to invent the electric light to be “useful” or fulfill a purpose , just being a part of society, doing your best in what you set your mind to do (only if positive, I do not mean setting your mind to kill is good , obviously I adhere to basic human morality here).

How I often envision it, is that humans are a conduit, and that through us, the universe has a way to make the improbable, probable. We make things happen that would otherwise not “naturally” happen without us, like the preservation or creation of certain things like preserving animal species, or creating medicines, machines, tools etc. that can be used to help animals, and/or the environment etc.

I like this idea but I will posit this as well…What if we have a duality, what if we have a dual function, as functions of the universe. What if humans sprung forth from the processes of the primeval atom, to not only be the ones who create and make the improbable probable but we also have another function, and that is we are also here to destroy and decide what stays and what goes. We cure diseases but we also destroy as well, maybe we see our destruction as out of hand in today’s world BUT maybe we are naturally predisposed to be destructive in certain ways, there by altering of our reality as well. Destruction is seemingly only a negative trait but only by our own sense of human morality, what if it’s not as bad as we think and some destruction is a necessary evil? for instance the eradication of certain diseases. I ponder this sometimes.

I do believe we are absolutely meant to act as organizers, tamers of chaos and madness. We set things in order, we make hierarchy’s, we make tribes, we build cities, we establish symbols, codes, languages, etc. We utilize math to build uniform structures in precise angular ways not natural to Earth, with laser precision straight edges and nicely fashioned and often polished or smoothed building materials and natural resources. We bend metal to our will, utilize water to our will, we utilize electricity as we see fit and we even harness the power of the sun and bend it to our will via stabilizing Atomic energy.

I think the idea that our purpose is fulfilled each day we wake up and try, is inspiring. No matter who you are, no matter how small you feel, your purpose in this universe is to just be a human, a curious creative little tiny tiny tiny speck of dust sized being in the scope of the universe that just exists to create, be a human, and put things in order. No matter what, as long as you are a human with a mind you are fulfilling your purpose, that is all you owe the universe is to just exist, and all we owe each other is to not harm each other and treat each other with love. This is the part we are not great at as a whole, but individually we thrive. I personally have experienced a lot of people who are negative and mean in groups but are actually regular pleasant people when you speak to them individually. You can often reason with an individual but not when they are attaching themselves to some group, but I digress…..

Thought, and the perceptions thoughts create are essential and a most fundamental part about the human experience. So next time you feel purposeless, or useless, remember, that feeling you are feeling is not an epiphany or a profound realization, instead, it is just a symptom of our system and it’s devices. We are humans we think, perceive, create, put things in order and make decisions, that is what we do, and as long as we are trying to contribute in our own positive way, we are doing just fine. Success or failure, its all a part of being human.

Thank you for reading!

Written by Marcos Lopez 5/16/2021